(Oh my God, even I hate myself for writing that headline. Weird Al-based story titles just should not be.)
My best friend and frequent animal suggester Sarah recently posted this Zooborns story about baby albino snapping turtles on my FB page. (Yes, I like to abbreviate everything; call it the J-Lo effect. FB=Facebook to those who don't know me IRL.) Check them out! So cute...yet so deadly. JUST LIKE THAT TOTAL LADYKILLER CHUCK BASS ON GOSSIP GIRL. (Only one more month till the show returns from its winter hiatus and my life as I know it can resume. One month of ETERNITY!!!!)
"I'm so widdle! And white!!! Yes, yesssssss, stick your finger in my mouth. Yessss."
One of the best things about this story is that the wee baby albino snapping turtles currently live in North Dakota! So technically I could just get in my car one day and be amongst these majestic beasts in a matter of hours (I live in Minnesota.) I say "technically" because I definitely will not be doing that...unless possibly they get some albino bat babies as well. In which case I would tip off my other best friend and fellow Minnesotan, PRINCE, and get him to purchase the entire zoo as his own personal freak animal wonderland. What? I saw him on Friday. Through glass and like 5 feet away, but I DID see him. And now we are besties.