Wonderful amputee monkey warms hearts, slaughters chickens

This story is amazing on so many levels:

1) The title. Never Slaughter a Chicken in Front of a Monkey

2) It's so heartwarming! Yet so violent. Somebody in Hollywood needs to option this. Michael Cera will play the monkey.

3) These closing lines:

" It helps look after Li's dog's puppies and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.

Li said: 'It sat besides me quietly and extended his only arm to wipe the tears on my face. He would softly pat my face and head, and look at me with great sympathy.'"


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart just fell out of my chest.

NEON SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEON NEON NEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what's going on in this video, but I like it. The ending also makes me feel a bit dirty but in the best, summery-est way possible. Thanks to my friend Wade for exposing me to "Sweet Raisin (She's Just a Meow Meow)," the summer dance trend that is sweeping the nation. (Or at least my apartment.)

PS--If you know, or are one of these people, please pleeeeeeeease let me be friends with you and your hairless cat.




This next video saved my 4th of July. Seriously, it was going along pleasantly enough, nothing too horrible nothing like WOW fantastic, and then, while at Minneapolis' 10 Second Film Festival, this little gem of neon wonder flashed into my life . CHAUNCEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pink handfish: badasses of the undersea kingdom

Soon it shall happen. Marine life shall rise up against us, its human oppressors and horrible, horrible BP polluters. It is only a matter of time that life as we know it shall change irrevocably, horrifyingly, eternally. It is inevitable, now that we know there are FISH WITH HANDS.


You don't believe me? Check this s&%^ out:


"You ever been bitchslapped by a FISH before, wise guy?"
That's what he is saying.


On the other hand, all I could choke out of my meager human vocal chords upon first viewing this picture was a resounding moan of terror. Look at this little undersea brawler, just bruising through the ocean, looking for the crazy mofos who got oil all up in its home. (Disclosure: actually it lives in Australia OF COURSE, but still, he is mad, and somebody's gonna pay.)

The funny thing about this little monster--er, wonder of nature--is that it is known simply as a pink handfish. The name totally sounds like something my seven-year-old niece would come up with.* You can read more about it here, you know, if you're into that sort of thing.

*Who, um, doesn't actually exist yet, but I'm sure someday will. Journalistic integrity!!!!

For your viewing pleasure...more baby otters

This clip was an obvious choice for this week's update because

a) Otters are always cute. To everyone, everywhere. If we sent otters into Taliban strongholds they would lay down their weapons and just stare in awe at the perfect adorableness of the mighty otter. Then everyone would hug each other and do what small animals do best, namely, to have tea parties with their other small animal friends.
b) The clip is named "Adventures in Otter Space." This speaks for itself.
c) It's a musical montage!!!!!!!! I watch a lot of teen dramas, so I love musical montages.

You can thank my best friend and fellow otter appreciator, Sarah, for the next two magical minutes of your life:

Baby sloths=love

My friend Jared brought these amazing sloths into my life this week, and the world is a better place for it. I'm going home from work in 9 minutes, and I hope, so are you. What better way to kick off the weekend than with SLOTHSSSSS???!!!

Seriously, these things are so adorable that they could steal your girlfriend, break into your apartment to make sweet love and then write a bestselling erotic novel about their passionate love affair and you (or I) wouldn't even care. THEY ARE THAT CUTE.

Dwarf lemurs!!!!!

If I've learned anything from doing this blog, it's that an animal's awesomeness is 98% of the time directly proportional to how many photos there are of a scientist (or eccentric Panamanian menagerie owner, your guess is as good as mine) holding a pair of the wee babies of the species in the palm of their learned (or crazy) hand. So you know this previously unprofiled species of lemurs is the good stuff. (As are all lemurs. Yes, they are all awesome. As evidenced by unofficial OMGwhatisthat.blogspot.com mascot, Binkie.)


These little friends will grow up to become dwarf lemurs, of which there are two kinds: the fat-tailed dwarf lemur:




And the Coquerel's dwarf lemur:



And because I am legally compelled to post every single picture of touching animal friendship I can find on this blog, here's a photo of a fat-tailed dwarf lemur, and his pal, another "nocturnal prosimian." I am not exactly sure what that means, beyond the fact that it would be an excellent band name. (...Or not, ok. But if you do name your band this, send me like $5 or something.)




All photos are from the Duke University LEMUR CENTER. Duke just went up 500 awesome points in my book.

Wallaby on the loose!

Always reliable crazy conservative news outlet Fox is reporting that there is a WALLABY loose in Florida. This is important because I can't come up with anything else for the blog this week and it's almost time for 30 Rock. Anyways, this family's pet wallaby (????) escaped in Florida and is apparently at large. Fun fact: the wallaby escaped by hippity hopping away down a street called WONDER LANE. Fun fact #2: Beatrix Potter totally wrote this news story. The wallaby left home because he wanted to go to a cricket match. Shhhh.

If you see the adorable escapee, please contact your nearest animal cricket league and/or actual helpful animal-related professionals.