Pink handfish: badasses of the undersea kingdom

Soon it shall happen. Marine life shall rise up against us, its human oppressors and horrible, horrible BP polluters. It is only a matter of time that life as we know it shall change irrevocably, horrifyingly, eternally. It is inevitable, now that we know there are FISH WITH HANDS.


You don't believe me? Check this s&%^ out:


"You ever been bitchslapped by a FISH before, wise guy?"
That's what he is saying.


On the other hand, all I could choke out of my meager human vocal chords upon first viewing this picture was a resounding moan of terror. Look at this little undersea brawler, just bruising through the ocean, looking for the crazy mofos who got oil all up in its home. (Disclosure: actually it lives in Australia OF COURSE, but still, he is mad, and somebody's gonna pay.)

The funny thing about this little monster--er, wonder of nature--is that it is known simply as a pink handfish. The name totally sounds like something my seven-year-old niece would come up with.* You can read more about it here, you know, if you're into that sort of thing.

*Who, um, doesn't actually exist yet, but I'm sure someday will. Journalistic integrity!!!!