Maned wolf=best wolf

Wolves are pretty cool, right? I mean, there have been A TON of bands with the word "wolf" in their name lately. I know what you're thinking: how can wolves get any better? I'll tell you: WHEN THEY LOOK LIKE REALLY TALL FOXES.


As has previously been discussed on this blog (I think; I'm too lazy to check and I gotta go home soon to eat delicious TACOS), foxes are one of the best animals. I love their dainty little black legs. I love how they love grapes!!! (Hence, they probably like wine and GET THIS: so do I.) And I love how somehow (and with 100% no scientific basis for which to say this) they are totally the perfect combination of CAT and DOG. (You see it, too, right? RIGHT???) And so it stands to reason that, if they had even longer legs, they would be even better. And oh yeah--they'd also be maned wolves, but who even knows what I'm talking about by now anyways.

So maned wolves live in parts of South America. They are sometimes referred to as "a Red Fox on Stilts" (yes, by people other than me. I would call them "tall foxes") and "Skunk Wolves" (figure it out.) God these things are awesome.

Behold!

MEGAFISH!!!!!!

I haven't updated this blog in awhile. Sorry for that. Holidays blah blah crap. But in the spirit of giving, I would like to present you all with the latest giant creature to grace the pages of this blog. That's right: just when you think animals can't get any bigger, ladies and gentlemen I give you:

MEGAFISH (An actual National Geographic headline.)

Giant Mekong Catfish


This pic of a young Chinese fellow and his friend Hal, the Mekong Giant Catfish, is a still from a forgotten Disney film of the 80s entitled "The One That Got Away." The premise is simple: late one night while making a wish that his parents will not get divorced, our young hero is visited by a MAAAAAGICAL CATFISH who promises to help him reunite his family...though a series of underwater hijinks and hilarious mixups that can only ensue when you get a giant catfish involved. (My apologies if I already trotted out the Disney divorce film joke in an earlier post. I searched for "divorce" on the last three months' updates and got nothing. So I'm running with it. Oh, also this movie is not real.)

Arapaima


Nothing and I mean NOTHING says male bonding like stripping down to minimal clothing together, diving into the Amazon and capturing a super long fish that's basically the same size as you. Don't be fooled; these guys all got along famously. Afterwards they all threw back a couple brewskis together and exchanged pictures of their kids. They all agreed to be Facebook friends, but there were a lot of Arapaimas online and the human gentlemen couldn't figure out which one was their pal. A real pity.